After years of marriage
So madly in love
We prayed that our Father
Would send from above
A brand new addition
To our family, so ready
For baby Debby, or Rose
Or Ricky, or Eddie
We tried for a while
But didn’t succeed
Now, half a year later
We’re pregnant indeed!
We did it, we did it!
And we love you already
Baby Debby, or Rose
Or Ricky, or Eddie.
Your parents,
Jeremy & Johanna Duncan.
-asks me what he should wear
-cooks me breakfast
-tries to sneak backstage at beauty pageants
-takes pictures with me and the kids
-calls me baby
-takes me shopping
-introduces me as “the love of his life”
-sends me flowers
-takes us to the movies
-tries to help me cook
-spends hours with me at victoria’s secret
-comes home with chocolate
-sends me pretty texts
-opens my doors
-kisses my forehead
-rubs my belly when im pms-ing
-notices the little things i do
-massages my feet after a long day
-gets my bath running
-dances with me
-tells me he loves me
-orders for me && i order for him
-plays nintendo wii against me && wyatt
-buys me the silliest things
Today was an interesting day, to say the least. Taking everything one step at a time isn’t as easy as I thought it would be. Especially since every step I take doesn’t seem to matter. All that matters is what people choose to believe and use as an excuse to try to paint me in a bad light. Well, that’s fine. My criminal record speaks for itself. I must admit I do feel quite rotten about all the child neglect and endangerment, theft, tax fraud, identity theft, and oh, wait…. That wasn’t me. That was you.
So while I have so much to tell, I’m actually about to start cooking supper. So can’t explain in full detail the tragedy that is my life as of recently. However, I can kind of give you an idea.
1. Baby Mama Drama
So Brandy’s back in the picture after being absent for 3 years. This was agreed upon by her and my hubby outside of court. Well, Jeremy thought it’d be a good idea for the kids to see a therapist that would help introduce them to their birth mother. That’s about the only silver lining to the whole situation. Everything seems to be going ok. Or, as ok as it can go when a criminal is around your kids. There’s still a few visitation kinks to work out, because apparently two ancient people can’t come to an agreement. God, what hope is there for my generation?
2. College
Come Fall of this year, I will be a full-time student at the University of Utah. I’m actually really excited about this, but kind of frustrated that I’ll have to repeat some of my classes just because they don’t transfer. I’m also worried about the cost of tuition and how much of it can be covered by scholarships. Prayers are much appreciated.
3. Health
While my health is much, much better, I’m still worried about the long term effects of having had cancer. I’m excited about going back to school and trying for my bachelors, even if it means that I can’t entertain the thought of having a child anytime soon. But at the same time, if Jeremy and I don’t have another child soon… There’s a chance the cancer will come back and take my reproductive system with it when we send it to hell.
Different day, same old story.
So, I completed Day 3, Shoulder & Arms and Ab Ripper X, and even though I had a root canal on Day 4, I started that work-out too… Only to be hit by what felt like a truckload of cramps. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t breathe. It hurt so bad! And it was supposed to be one of the easier days! Yoga X! So, I crawl to the bathroom to get something for the pain, and by the time I get there, I notice it’s more than cramps. Let’s not go into detail. I call my doctor and he asks if I’ve been doing any strenuous exercise and I told him I started a new work-out plan, like we had discussed. He said that my body is still recovering from all the treatments, and I’m not doing it any favors by going crazy trying to keep up with my old active life. He continued to scold me and told me I’m supposed to take it easy at first, and start out by going for a walk a couple times a week. Blah blah blah. So, now, I’m limited to my bed and toilet area for a few days, but hopefully I’ll be okay after. I don’t even know what to think anymore. This is just my luck. I’m so upset, and so disgusted at myself, at my fat, at my inability to do anything about it other than WALK. And just when I thought things were getting better!
P90X
Week 1 - Day 2
So I woke up yesterday feeling okay. As I stepped out of bed, my heart was beating so fast, that I was getting a work-out just being nervous about how sore I was gonna be. Nothing. My arms were a LITTLE sore. But that was it. I was so disappointed. Did I do something wrong? Maybe I wasn’t pushing myself. Or MAYBE I had more upper body strength left from gymnastics than I realized. So I went on about my Valentine’s Day, which was horrible. My husband, bless his heart, had a doctor’s appointment, and then slept the whole time he was home. In between his time-consuming activities, however, he managed to tell me that I wouldn’t be sore ‘til today. That it takes more than 12 hours for it to really sink in. I didn’t listen. I finished the rest of the stuff on my list, took Wyatt to school, got his Valentines ready, got his mailbox ready for his party, and so on. By the time I got home, around 4:00 p.m., I was ready for a nap. I was tired and my pectoral muscles were starting to bother me… This made me smile. So I put in the DVD, and Plyo X was even worse than the Chest and Back and Ab Ripper X combined. I haven’t done anything that comes even halfway close to plyometrics since soccer, the summer after 9th grade. My inner thighs were feeling it like I had traveled back in time to 2003. Even high school track didn’t work me as hard. But then again, the work-outs consisted of a 2 mile warm-up and short distance drills here and there. It was lame, and I sucked. Anyways, I make it to the 45:00 mark, after the stools. And my thighs are so weak, and shaking, that my legs give out. No joke. So I take my water break and hit the pause button for an extra 45 seconds to catch my breath, but the longer I rest, the less I wanna continue. Nevertheless, I half-ass my way to the end of the work-out. And I felt pretty good about it. Today, however, I feel like death. My arms feel like they’re about to fall off my body, and my legs are killing me. And all my husband can say is, “I can’t believe you didn’t remember that the second day after you work out is the worst, not the day after.” Ugh. And I guess it doesn’t help that I drank half a bottle of vodka last night with Alex, and smoked cigars. All I’ve had to eat today is Ramen Noodles. Won’t be eating again ‘til 5:00, other than a few grapes and such. And I’ll begin Day 3 around 7:00 p.m.
